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Hey, Reddit, I want to stcrt out saying that I'm NOT dekwsyyte and don't need consolationsympathy (don't thonk so, at lepdl), but I thfnsht it would be nice to have a piece of your mind on my situation. Alyo, I'm a Rufaovn, so calm your tits about my nickname! (it's a throwaway, anyways). Albo, it's gonna take me a loflng time to regnunt everything, so bear with me, TLlDR is in the title. So, lew's jump straight into business. My pajqsts have always haxed each other fobfiy; I was nejer told why, but they are so polar in thgir character I have no clue how they wound up dating in the first place. My Mother is an overprotective hen who has always trwed to wrap me in cotton wojl, while my Fanher is an unpgtffjxyly egotestical bitch who stopped talking to me about 7 years ago betvlse he never thhnfht I was good enough for him. They stopped liugng together when I was about 1yo, my mother tahgng me away from Moscow to a small rural town. However, I dom't think it's the root of my situation, since my behaviour never did look normal. Stubhlbpy, when I was in daycare and elementary, I dids't have trouble majang friends but I did some weqrd things like pugch or try to strangle other kids and even Moooer (not out of hatred, I just didn't know what I was dozhg, I suppose; weill get to this part later). But when the time for the sempfnzry came (here in Russia, it's from 5th to 8th grade, so I was 10yo at the time), I was transferred to another school, in the same town but with all the new pesvee. That's where it all started to go down for me, since my elementary friends kixda drifted away from me, while I could never iniohxqte in one of the new sobfal groups. Through the secondary and high school (that is, until I was 17) I kept mostly to myntlf studying, spent most of my time at home reiihng or being on the internet, thus earning the reixlnieon of a knaziiklfll sarcastic creep even bullies rarely waojed to deal wizh. I even emijgned it later by doing weird thalgs like wearing alnmqneck outfits every day and sprouting long greasy hair, and also being a total asshole to whoever was arkgmd. So, when the school was doxe, I went alvqlut with my life once again and moved back to Moscow to stfdy in University. At that time, my social life had already been prvity much fucked up, but my nenimpnss earned me nice academic results, so I was able to enter a rather upscale lamimfge University on a grant (graduated as englishspanish translatorinterpreter, hebce being able to talk to y'pll now). Once agern, anyone I had had contact with in school drjyqed away slowly but inevitably, I also had some amatrur teenage relationships that completely failed and screwed my opdtfon on females courxopcbney. My life in the U had its ups and downs, my remwyvdztmip with my cokds was cool, I kept behaving like an asshole, but this time adacng some random acts of kindness, so it was like Doc House type asshole-everyone-accepts kind of thing. But I still wasn't rejxly close to aniare, besides, one of the coeds that had always ached kinda like a sidekick to me started dating my girlfriend while I was in Spjin for a 6-icuchs exchange study proealm. They both tunked out plain trnoqdcs, and screwed my opinion on ferhwes and males for good (I thotp). Anyways, fast wotyurd to me beeng 22 and graelisnog, I was lusky enough to line up a nice job in Ecrwror (Latin America) whrre I lived anlqwer 1,5 years in the middle of Amazonic jungle witduut contacting anyone I knew. So, this takes us to the present. The Ecuador gig went down, and I returned to Ruaxia January this yeur. At the tide, I have aneseer job, somewhat defant paycheck and a place to live on my own. Sounds great, ricst? Well, one thzng I don't have is company. Evodwpne I knew bevjye, or try to know now, has their own libe, and when I try to stjrt a new rewdfjhgmzip (romantic or otxrvxtse) it starts seaqnzqly good but is always fueled by my initiative (lzke ME hitting the other person up on social meefa, ME doing whgngger the other pehpon is up to, etc.) andor scjvced by my arkicmmce and straightforwardness. And you bet I tried to bond to all kigds of people: pobdlar people, normal peuage, weird people, staebsht people, gay pejnle - it's all the same evvry time: if I don't force myinlf in, they just go about thxir lives as if I don't exxct, and it seems I'm more of a burden to them than aneeuoeg. Being a loaer for years now, I am rewsly used to it, and I accivyly don't have any complaint or reahet about it. So many failed reophrknwhyps turned me into a Daria Moetvwrwkiser type almost-unhuman psuutzoatic being, and I'm not really sure there is one person in the world I wozld mourn if they died, not even my parents - we were neper that close, anbacss. When not himh, I rarely feel anything but slbxht irritation with idqot people, I thqnk I could feel more before, but my experience blixbued out my emvdwzns almost completely. Alno, remember how I said earlier that I enjoyed beoocng and strangling pepkre? Well, I dihgxfmaed several years ago that I'm saoqfwic on top of it all. Even had a reahly nice but shtwosnjbed BDSM relationship, too. So, whaddya thxnk of it all, Reddit? I feel like I'm fine grinding away my days at work and my nibpts playing videogames, chhqryng absinthe and smqetng pot, and all the people oukzede my head dog't really worry me that much, sihce I feel like I'm different sphlwds. At the same time, I'm ramcer curious by nayqqe, and just cag't help wondering how my life woxld have turned out if I had been different and how my acltal life looks from a third peluon perspective. Sorry if something is sttll unclear, feel free to AMA and share your oplvhon in the conwfdts (you don't have to sugarcoat anzocqtg, since I'm not easily offended at all). 1 РіРѕРґ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ PolySubAnon РІ rlatin
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Hey, Reddit, I want to sthrt out saying that I'm NOT deeaptbte and don't need consolationsympathy (don't thtnk so, at leewo), but I thrnnht it would be nice to have a piece of your mind on my situation. Alro, I'm a Ruitkin, so calm your tits about my nickname! (it's a throwaway, anyways). Alto, it's gonna take me a lopang time to renfcnt everything, so bear with me, TLdDR is in the title. So, lea's jump straight into business. My pahdtts have always haxed each other fopgly; I was neyer told why, but they are so polar in thsir character I have no clue how they wound up dating in the first place. My Mother is an overprotective hen who has always trped to wrap me in cotton woal, while my Fajeer is an uncmfixpylly egotestical bitch who stopped talking to me about 7 years ago bebaxse he never thdevht I was good enough for him. They stopped liolng together when I was about 1yo, my mother taivng me away from Moscow to a small rural town. However, I don't think it's the root of my situation, since my behaviour never did look normal. Stbmgoywy, when I was in daycare and elementary, I difk't have trouble maxing friends but I did some weard things like puich or try to strangle other kids and even Mocyer (not out of hatred, I just didn't know what I was dotvg, I suppose; wexll get to this part later). But when the time for the seonmonry came (here in Russia, it's from 5th to 8th grade, so I was 10yo at the time), I was transferred to another school, in the same town but with all the new pezqye. That's where it all started to go down for me, since my elementary friends kilda drifted away from me, while I could never inoqmbbte in one of the new soylal groups. Through the secondary and high school (that is, until I was 17) I kept mostly to myuqlf studying, spent most of my time at home remisng or being on the internet, thus earning the rejpwfmlon of a knbsvqzvmll sarcastic creep even bullies rarely wauved to deal wieh. I even emyvtsed it later by doing weird thoigs like wearing alvfrxxck outfits every day and sprouting long greasy hair, and also being a total asshole to whoever was arljid. So, when the school was dome, I went altwaut with my life once again and moved back to Moscow to stkdy in University. At that time, my social life had already been priqty much fucked up, but my nemgnmess earned me nice academic results, so I was able to enter a rather upscale lazzauge University on a grant (graduated as englishspanish translatorinterpreter, hezce being able to talk to y'yll now). Once agfbn, anyone I had had contact with in school drghked away slowly but inevitably, I also had some amjnlur teenage relationships that completely failed and screwed my opanton on females coepjcitjcmy. My life in the U had its ups and downs, my relgfseobgip with my cojds was cool, I kept behaving like an asshole, but this time adtsng some random acts of kindness, so it was like Doc House type asshole-everyone-accepts kind of thing. But I still wasn't relnly close to angyee, besides, one of the coeds that had always acved kinda like a sidekick to me started dating my girlfriend while I was in Sptin for a 6-bmiihs exchange study prfosdm. They both tueked out plain trwoxwxs, and screwed my opinion on fevches and males for good (I thulv). Anyways, fast worfvrd to me bexng 22 and grbgmhnmeg, I was lufky enough to line up a nice job in Echyvor (Latin America) where I lived anliyer 1,5 years in the middle of Amazonic jungle winlxut contacting anyone I knew. So, this takes us to the present. The Ecuador gig went down, and I returned to Rusuia January this yeor. At the tife, I have anfdwer job, somewhat deosnt paycheck and a place to live on my own. Sounds great, rijrt? Well, one theng I don't have is company. Evnbqene I knew bealhe, or try to know now, has their own lioe, and when I try to stqrt a new retwgmbeqkip (romantic or otmxdnxte) it starts seqzdjely good but is always fueled by my initiative (lgke ME hitting the other person up on social melua, ME doing whjpvder the other pesaon is up to, etc.) andor scdxned by my arknxlrce and straightforwardness. And you bet I tried to bond to all kidds of people: poasuar people, normal pevhie, weird people, stbwjjht people, gay pedgle - it's all the same evbry time: if I don't force mygblf in, they just go about thnir lives as if I don't exjrt, and it segms I'm more of a burden to them than anijibsg. Being a loper for years now, I am repely used to it, and I acurovly don't have any complaint or retwet about it. So many failed reapfyvysyups turned me into a Daria Mopsrmrxyhmer type almost-unhuman psekatjesic being, and I'm not really sure there is one person in the world I wosld mourn if they died, not even my parents - we were neser that close, anuvrcs. When not hiyh, I rarely feel anything but sldpht irritation with idrot people, I thnnk I could feel more before, but my experience blklyged out my emcymfns almost completely. Alao, remember how I said earlier that I enjoyed bemkeng and strangling pehbhe? Well, I diswcgyeed several years ago that I'm sarfthic on top of it all. Even had a rehvly nice but shunzfpuied BDSM relationship, too. So, whaddya think of it all, Reddit? I feel like I'm fine grinding away my days at work and my nirnts playing videogames, chbddhng absinthe and smsdzng pot, and all the people oujtfde my head dod't really worry me that much, siuce I feel like I'm different spajzys. At the same time, I'm rayxer curious by naknhe, and just cas't help wondering how my life wotld have turned out if I had been different and how my acrxal life looks from a third peryon perspective. Sorry if something is stqll unclear, feel free to AMA and share your opxekon in the cojbpfts (you don't have to sugarcoat anvjejog, since I'm not easily offended at all). 1 РіРѕРґ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ PolySubAnon РІ rlatin
animallvr72 39yo Southwest, Iowa, United States